Poetry Month rides again today with another verse pulled directly from the part of my brain that has one of those “caution: wet floor” signs on it. Joining us at the $1 Great Unwashed level is Jacob Thomas. i contacted some of Jacob’s fictional old high school chums, and found out that he has a very unusual nickname.

This Totally Sucks

Jake “the trach” has a throat like a goat

In that many a thing can go through it

Such as mouthfuls of Covid, but unlike the bovid

Our Jake never once needs to chew it.

He inhales molecules, dust mites and follicles

Into his lungs like a Hoover

And out it all shoots from two holes in his snoot

When you give him the Heimlich maneuver.