One of my viewers on YouTube suggested i make a How to Play video for the German-born card game Oh My Goods! by Alexander Pfister, which has long been on my board game wish list. So i pulled the trigger and gave it a shot. Here’s a chatty unboxing where i discuss all things board games, including my aversion to anything illustrated by the enormously untalented Klemens Franz.
Hi! It’s Ryan from Nights Around a Table, and here’s a tiny little game that i have a lot to say about, for some bizarre reason. First off, shout out to Sara Tippey, one of the people who watches me on YouTube. Fabulous, fabulous folks watching on YouTube! i told her that i take requests. She said “Do Oh My Goods!” and here we are. Luckily for Sara, this is a game that’s been on my wish list for a while. It looks like an unassuming little card game, and then when i was first reading about it when it came out a couple of years ago, people were like “Man, that’s complicated, and i can’t quite get my head around it.” Sara says there’s no great videos about the game. This will not be a great video about the game! It’s just me opening the box and (mlah mlehh mlehh) doing that. But that seemed intriguing to me, and then the price profile is also pretty low here in Canada. i picked it up for 16 bucks. Pretty cool! 20 bucks with tax. It has a few knocks against it. The designer is Alexander Pfister, which kind of explains why it may be more complicated than it looks. Alexander Pfister is the guy who designed Great Western Trail, and i have a How to Play video of Great Western Trail if you’d like to see what that’s all about, but that’s a game that takes… 3-4 hours to play? i found it a little bit… it’s a lot of… that’s a lot of game time to put into that game. i think it would be more fine at an hour and a half. Is this the same deal? i don’t know! The box tells us it is approximately 30 minutes. i don’t know if that’s 30 minutes a player, or if the box lies like every board game box does. More knocks against it: it’s called Oh My Goods! That is a horrible name for a game! i can’t imagine a worse named game, but in German it’s called… and i can’t speak German, but i’m guessing that’s pronounced “Du Meine Güter”. i don’t know what that means in German, but i’m guessing, hopefully, that was something kind of clever in German? Because “Oh My Goods!” isn’t all that clever in English. Was this supposed to be, like, “Oh my goodness,” except it’s goods, because you’re a medieval craftsperson? i dunno. Back to the drawing board on that one, boys. That kind of reminds me of Bonanza. Got a How to Play video of Bohnanza, too, if you wanna check that out… Bohnanza, where it’s like “Oh, well the German word for ‘bean’ is ‘bohne,’ and so we’ll make a play: Bohn-anza,” and maybe in Germany that was hilarious, but then it comes out in English-speaking countries, and it’s like “What the heck is Bohnanza? Why didn’t you just call it BEANanza?” Third knock against this game: i shouldn’t have said that Alexandre Pfister being the designer is a knock against the game… but this thing is illustrated by Klemens Franz, and if you know anything about me and my tastes in art, i HAVE some, therefore i don’t like Klemens Franz! It’s bizarre to me, as i’ve said before, that he illustrates basically all the biggest board game hits on the shelves, and i don’t get it, because he’s awful at what he does. He’s terrible at what – and believe me: i know awful at what you do. What can i say about Klemens Franz that i haven’t said already? i don’t like him, and it’s weird to me. It would be like if if all these blockbuster movies had the same crappy actor in them, like Nicolas Cage… never mind. Anyway, let’s crack this thing open and we’ll see what’s inside! It was kind of fun thought exercise for me though – and i don’t think we’re gonna find anything all that interesting inside here, to be honest… i think it’s just going to be a couple decks of cards – so i thought “How could it be that complicated if it’s just a couple decks of cards?” and the thought exercise was: as a game designer, how would i make a game with just a deck of cards super complicated? The first thing that came to my mind was to milk more complexity out of a card game, i might do stuff where cards cover up pieces of other cards, and so every card is multifunctional, and has a bunch of different bits or rooms or icons on it that you sort of obscure – a little bit like Innovation. If you’ve played Innovation, there’s a little bit – there’s some splaying up-down, left-right, so that’s a little bit more complex with just a deck of cards. But… Box Fart-O-Meter: completely silent. And we can thank Klemens Franz for that. Oh! Look at this: Oh – it’s a COUPLE of rule books. First rulebook in German – who needs it? Second rulebook in English. Yeah, okay… there’s… it’s… it’s not nothin’. It’s… let’s do a page count here. It’s 11 pages long. Dense text. So, okay, so far, i believe you people complaining that it’s very complicated. And – yeah. Two decks of cards inside the box. i’m gonna put just crack one open. If i were to estimate the number of cards in here, i’d say that would be about… and i’m bad at estimating… but approximately 50,000 cards? Here we go. And i want to know if they all come from the same deck, too – if they all have the same crate on the back of them? Let’s see, let’s see. So deck one has… yeah, it looks like… looks like… i’ll open that on too. There’s only two decks. Why wouldn’t we open both? So here they are. They all have the same… oh! They don’t. They don’t have the same crate back. These ones are different! These ones have people on them. i’m gonna assume from all the games i’ve played, that these are customers, and customers’ wants, i’m guessing. A-heh… if you’ve played the game, maybe you’re like “Tee hee hee – he thinks they’re customers!” And then here, yeah, it looks like there’s a bit of dual functionality on a card like this, because it looks like maybe it does one thing turned this way, and maybe something different happens turned the other way? Maybe not? i’m just guessing. Lovely lass… and then these four cards with stuff on the back! We’ll see if the same situation applies to the second deck of cards. Unh! Unh! Unh! Shoutout, by the way, to – as long as we’re doing shoutouts to viewers, i love you guys all so much equally – but i’m gonna name two people specifically… if i can get this card open… if i can’t get this pack of cards open, that’s it: no more shoutouts! We’re… we’re DONE. Iiiit’s Teeth Time! (nervously humming the Teeth Time theme song) Peh! (grunting) They require superhuman board game player strength, with my… noodly Muppet arms. There we go! Whoo! (laughing) There was a convenience rip strip the entire time that i didn’t notice. Here’s the second deck of cards. We’ll flip it to the back immediately to see if they’re all within – yes. They’re all within the same deck with the crate on the back, and they all have German and English on them. “Sägemaühle.” The sawmill. Some are red, some are green… i don’t know what any of the icons mean. That was a rhyme. i’m clever. So… ah, right: shoutout to… to Samuel, who is an avid watcher, his mom tells me. Thank you so much for watching, Samuel. It’s my pleasure to entertain you! And those are the cards in the game! Some are green, some are black, some are red, some you’ll… want back? i don’t know. i’m no Dr. Seuss. Some are yellow, some are blue, some you slap down and say “Screw you!” No – i don’t know. It’s a euro game, so there’s probably no take-that mechanic in it. But that’s what you get! A couple of decks of cards. i have no idea how to play, but i’m gonna figure it out. i’m gonna do a How to Play a video for you, Sara Tippey, and for the rest of you, who want to find out about Oh My Goods and how to play, and how to play well! That’s it! Thank you so much for watching. Did you just watch that whole thing? Oh – hey! 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Get Your Own Copy of Oh My Goods!
At $16 CAD, Oh My Goods! was an easy purchase. And the impressive thing is how, like Tiny Epic Galaxies and its board game brethren, there’s so much game packed into such a small box. If you’d like to add it to your own collection, use the Amazon link below, and we’ll receive a small commission!